Lazy Thursday

It's only the second day of term 2 and everyone's quietly doing their own thing in our methods double. No one at all is talking. Seriously. It's so quiet. I'm afraid to cough.

Some people are doing methods. Some are doing god-knows-what behind their laptop screens. And Sophia beside me is doing Japanese with her methods book in front of her in case the teacher checks up on us. Doubt he would.

My methods teacher is hilarious. Not in the way he intends to be. He has really angular eyebrows. He reminds me of a play school actor. The way he talks is so demeaning.. He just talks to us as if we were primary school kids. You have to have him in class to know what I mean. Once he asked us, "ok girls, what point is missing from this graph? It starts with 'turn' and ends with 'ing'". *insert big cheesy smile as the punchline draws near*. "That's right, it's the turning point!!!! Ahfhdjdkshsga."

Another time I asked him to help me with a question. He did the working out on a scrap piece of paper. After he was done I asked if I could keep the working out. He cried "noooo!" as he sprawled protectively over the piece of paper, reminiscent to that of a stubborn toddler. He soon decided to let me keep it. But under the condition that he would give it to me folded like an origami and that I would "destroy after use"

I see him working behind his laptop right now. He's probably trying to get passed the level of the ninja koalas in Dora the Explorer. Lawl

I should do my methods now..

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It's not about school. It's not about a boy.

I go to school

I come home

I do my homework

I do my own thing

I go to sleep

I go to school.

I go out

I come home

late or early the next morning

I do my own thing

I go to sleep

I go out.

It goes either way.

I do my own thing.

I've been roaming around

I was looking down at all I see

Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

.........

.........

someone like you.

Laryngitis. Made it less obvious.

Sigh

Posters on my wall

I have a few things stuck on my wall. Some are posters from magazines and some are photos. They date back to 2009.

The memories behind them are timeless, but the photos are getting outdated. The holidays are coming to an end and I still haven't fixed my wall like I said I would. I need to re-jazz it up. Did I mention that I also have a periodic, solubility and valency table stuck on my wall? I'm shameless enough to admit that. So it's safe to say my wall has been appearing mundane for a while now.

I dreamt of my wall last night (in lieu of better things or people to dream of). I had a small pile of new posters I could have put up. It was a fresh pile that made me smile when I looked at it. They had more contemporary meanings. There would've been room on my wall if I just moved the old posters.. but I kept telling myself there was no room. So I left the new posters untouched, and my old posters unmoved. Naturally, my old posters were still on the wall when I woke up.

I just wanted to write about that because I'm frustrated at my indolence. Not just with poster-arranging. And because I've been staring at walls a lot recently. Speaking of which, I should analyse Ode on Indolence after To Autumn. Shrugging back on that familiar study attitude that's caused me much affliction. Yayerz

My sister just came in to borrow my bobby pins. Bobby pins are tokens in my household. Tokens to well-groomed-ness.They're hard to find and when you do have some, you hold them tight and keep an eye on them. I told her "you better give them back straight after using them, I need them more than you do cos I have shorter hair." She said "well, I've got layered hair" and zipped out of the room. I was gonna yell back "it's your fault for getting a mullet" but it was more of a whisper. To myself. But even I could barely hear myself. I hate laryngitis....

"My mum doesn't let me play with you"

Was it just me or did anyone else ever have that said to them in primary school?

It just popped into my head while I was flicking through facebook. I found a girl who once said that to me in prep.

Then again I remember that whenever there was someone annoying, people would give me the advice: "just tell them your mum doesn't let you play with them anymore".

Girls use to say "omg, she's so mature," as if it were a bad thing. "Omg she just said 'whatever'. Who does she think she is? She's so mature!!"

Kids say the stupidest things. Lawl

This is a half-hearted post because certain people were egging me on to publish it!

Let's act like we don't care

So that when we do show we care, people can be pleasantly surprised and feel gooey and warm on the inside.

When you drop a bomb on someone you expect them to handle it and anything else you have. But when they can't, the disappointment kicks hard.

Expectations are cumbersome.

"Chicks before dicks" philosophy

I don't understand how one extremely attractive girl could make a couple of friends fight each other over her. Especially in the situation when the friends have known each other for longer than the desired girl. Suddenly, years of friendship are thrown out the window once this "babe" walks into the scene? This can also be the case for girls fighting over a boy.

I understand that humans are warm-blooded mammals, and have needs to satisfy. After all, mating is what's been driving the survival of our species. But you know what else has? Camaraderie and platonic friendship.

Look at everything non-sexual that has continued our existence. People helping people out. Friends help us to survive. We lay our problems onto them, they relieve our psychological stress and we carry on. They let us be ourselves and wouldn't leave us as easily as a sexual partner would. It takes more than kissing or sleeping with someone else to lose them - things that matter more.

And so this is why if someone, say, a boy, were to not like a close friend of mine, chances are you'd be working your way into my bad books. It doesn't matter if you happen to be the best male candidate out there. I love my friends and if you have a problem with them then you have a problem with me. I see a little of myself in them and I respect everything they do because in a way they're a better version of me. So if you have beef with anyone, you can go make a sandwich out of it and then shove it up your ignorant ass cos I sure don't care.

I do have a "chicks before dicks" attitude, but that may imply that I'm a bit of a feminist. I have no strong opinion on that matter despite coming from Macrob. I'm not saying girls are awesome and boys are dirt. I'm saying I would choose my friends over any potential sexual partner. I call this camaraderism and I am a camaraderist.

Weehee I made up a new word up. Hope it becomes a thing 8)

You need a contingency plan for everything

It doesn't matter how much you study for a test. Or how attentive you are in class, or how many of them you show up to, or how many questions you answer in them.

There's always going to be that one bitch of a question that throws you off.

And then there are the careless mistakes.

Perfect scores are arbitrary. Your input is never guaranteed to show in your output. That's why school can suck balls at times.

I'd like to say I'm not too fussed about missing out on clean, full marks. But I do admit I get disappointed when my SAC mark is lower than the person next to me.

What made me write this post is a recently nagging feeling I've had. One part of me says "if you don't spend every minute preparing, then you're gonna walk into that test, see a question that turns you to a confused cow, and you're going to wish you spent that one lost minute studying." But another part says that I could study in every available minute I had, and I would still find a question unanswerable. And I'm rambling right now...

Anyway, so I'm telling myself I need a contingency plan. I'm going to stop propelling myself head-first into disappointment. I'm still going to try at school, of course. But I won't need every question I have to be answered. I'll have what I can get.

Hm, am I using this as an excuse to not put effort in? It's like when people never try at anything because they're scared of failing. I dunno.. the hardest reading material isn't Shakespeare. It's yourself