It hasn't sunk in yet, and I'm thinking it won't sink in until after exams.
I said goodbye to my childhood on my first day at Killester.
I said goodbye to my adolescence when I turned 18 a few months ago.
And now I'm going to say goodbye to both my childhood and my adolescence, and say hello to the adult world.
I already feel so old.
At the start of this year my chemistry teacher made us fill in a self-evaluation thing. Dated as 12/02/2011, it asked things like:
- What do you think this year holds for you?
- What are your current goals?
- What is your favourite/least favourite subject?
- What do you plan to do after Mac.Rob?
and finally,
- If you could say/ask one thing to yourself about anything at the end of year 12, what would it be?
I'm glad I took this task seriously and didn't flippantly dismiss it as lame. It's really interesting.. what I wrote down as my "favourite subject" is now my mortal enemy. My writing's changed a lot too, which could be saying something about myself.. or am I looking a tad too deeply into this?
I don't want to display my answers to these questions.. they're pretty personal and some stuff I wrote was lame.
What did strike me though was how I promised myself not to become a study-bot and here I am. Everyday I'm a-studyin'.
Sometimes our views and attitudes toward things can change very slowly over time without us noticing. I'm sure we've all noticed this. If you read an excerpt of an old blog post, or a diary entry you'll be thinking "wow.. that really used to be me." When this happens, I feel glad. It makes me feel like I'm actually growing because I kid you not, I wasn't too fond of who I used to be.
It gives a sense of satisfaction seeing how far you've come, and I think that being able to perceive and fully appreciate the distance you've journeyed is what keeps you going. At least for me. If I couldn't see that I was making any progress in life I'd start to wonder what the point of anything was. I would lose ambition and motivation, and I would hit a standstill.. or even decline.
I think it's good to write your thoughts down. I'm going to do that thing in HIMYM where Marshall writes a letter to his 30-year-old self.
On a brighter note, I'm excited!
For the premiere of the year 12 video tmr.
For muck-up day (more like dress-up day) tmr.
For valedictory? Idk, Louise fully bagged it and said it was a boring event last year. We'll see.
I'm worried about the medley I'm doing with Joy during the farewell assembly though. We've barely practised.. probably a total of 3 sessions. And we've had a new addition to our duo.. on quite short notice. I'm not even a professional guitar player and after Ivy and my Mac.Rob formal performance I've felt a bit wary toward playing in public again T_T.
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