Jessie intro'd me to the song Sandi Thom - Time
I'm turning 18 relatively soon and, looking back, I wish I were more of a risk-taker. I want to think of my childhood and adolescent years as the period of my life where I could really live without any serious obligations or repercussions.
I wish I stepped up to becoming the softball team captain in grade 6. I wish I wagged a bit of classes pre-VCE to do something fun. I wish I went camping more often, slept-over more often, felt that god-lovely adrenalin more often, got scared more often. But no, I wanted to be a good girl and lap up praise from those who wanted me to live a "perfect" stain-free life.
I don't want to sound like an angsty, out-of-control teen-rebel, but I wish I made more mistakes. They would've been more forgivable at that age. And I would harbour those lessons.
Only in my later adolescent years have I really started to push my boundaries. And for that, I am happy. Relieved that I didn't stay in my cloud of ignorance and safety any longer than I already had. It's not solely because of Macrob, but choosing to sit the entrance exam played a huge part in my turning point.
I've started to notice that for each little risk I've taken something opened up - new friendships, a new perspective, a new resolve. It was hard to see at first. But when I did, that's when I fell in love with it.
I haven't learnt to be fearless - I still get scared of changes and anything that's new. I've just learnt to assess the risk, chin-up, subdue the fear and open the door.
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